Linggo, Disyembre 25, 2011


If you do not want what I want, please try not to tell me that my want is wrong.
Or if my beliefs are different from yours, at least pause before you set out to correct them.
Or if my emotion seems less or more intense than yours, given the same circumstances, try not to ask me to feel other than I do.
Or if I act, or fail to act, in the manner of your design for action, please let me be.
I do not, for the moment at least, ask you to understand me. That will only come when you are willing to give up trying to change me into a copy of you.
If you will allow me any of my own wants, or emotions, or beliefs, or actions, then you open yourself to the possibility that some day these ways of mine might not seem so wrong, and might finally appear as right – for me. To put up with me is the first step to understanding me.
Not that you embrace my ways as right for you, but that you are no longer irritated or disappointed with me for my seeming waywardness. And one day, perhaps, in trying to understand me, you might come to prize my differences, and, far from seeking to change me, might preserve and even cherish those differences.
I may be your spouse, your parent, your offspring, your friend, your colleague. But whatever our relation: You and I are fundamentally different and both of us have to march to our own drummer.
(From the book Please Understand Me II by David West Kiersey.)

Biyernes, Disyembre 23, 2011

Pain in Rain

Azured sky was surfaced by black crying clouds,
so under a dark gloomy night I stayed not too proud.
The dripping rain stings this heart so grey.
Thinking of forgiveness but the mind strongly says nay.
Tears touching the cheeks now flows with the waters.
The thunder reminds me of the excuse he falters.
Amidst the rain and pain, a fake truth I've been trying to be
I stand stood still, even the tempest can't blow the toughness only I could see.
An endless quarrel we shared, his lie lingers though 'twas left unsaid.
A union not worth fighting for turned blue from red.
Love is not enough, it does not conquer all, never it'll prevail.
Unconsciously we live in fantasy, a reason why love fails. 
Reality hurts, trying not to face it hurts even more.
The grief he bore may dig the deepest of my core.
But an oath I took, he wasn't a mistake but a lesson learned.
Agony I have suffered but an experience I earned.
The drizzle has stopped and the path I'll be taking might be muddy.
I opt not to cease from taking a pace away from a past so rocky.
The rain has baptized me with a new identity.
The splashes of water washed out the weaknesses
?I once owned, now I'm bolder and free.

The Elusive Peace

Dead trees, ice melts, the sun's heat. Oh it penetrates.
Dusty wind, filthy waters, proudly pollution is consistent of its rates.
Smog, the planet's breath. Can't you hear the Earth's hiss?
Amidst it all, there is Peace.

Loaded guns, triggered pistols, villains are gone, innocents are down.
Soldiers dying, their comrades suffering, casualties over town.
Munitions on the way, missiles to take off, indeed an action of fierce.
Amidst it all, there is Peace.

A deafening quarrel of a brother and a sister, coated of pure wrath above.
The untied vow of a husband and wife, a fruit of perfidious love.
 Once a home, now with a family broken piece by piece.
Amidst it all, there is Peace.

The ennui your mind is strugglin' the throe your heart is feeling.
An avalanche of dilemma is comin' torment you wish of its ending.
Solutions so evasive, truly a life not in bliss.
Amidst it all, there is Peace.

In a polluted world, there is CHANGE.
Between every war, there is UNITY.
At the middle of a fight, there is LOVE.
When you feel like giving up, there is HOPE.
Amidst it all, there is PEACE.

Black Out

'Twas a starless dark sky, blanketed with heavy nimbus clouds.
A flock of crows flew and struck him by their sharp claws.
Deluded on his own, a tough ebony he thought himself.
Truth is, only a shadow possessed with the spirit of rhum.
A fleeting happiness he enraptured. A countless laughter like one's hair.
Later, a blot, a single dot blemished the entirety of an image.
His soul he puked out, now drowning in a black hole of regrets.
It's done. The same plight was oathed like a tire running in circle.
Then, a Black Out.

Polluted Mind

Down the Boulevard, an empty pavement I stare
Clouds screech a deafening honk with some flashing lights.
Black droplets starts to penetrate my skin so fair.
Streets filled with dark stagnant waters, look not so right.

An atmosphere covered with thick, filthy smog.
I inhale a wind full of nicotine and dust.
The wrong deed I did was to do nothing but nag.
Now so thrilled to see, ice melts and volcanoes blast.

A jungle made of concrete, painted of metals
where wild beasts dwell, ruining their own habitat.
the beasts enjoy, nature suffers and now fatal
what a wasted future, all started with a blot.

The rain has stopped but never the Earth's agony.
Now I stand with disgrace and pure melancholy.
Ashamed to look above the sky, I bowed my head.
Promised to do my part and never leave words unsaid.

Mix Poems

Agony of Love

I have longed to love you;
But you made my heart so blue,
Caused me pain I've knew.

(Cinquain Poem)

Sinful, Irresistible
Seducing, Imagining, Tempting
Lust is unforgivable.

(A Diamante Poem)

Strong, Strict
Protecting, Comforting, Providing
Job, Discipline, Morals, Home
Caring, Understanding, Guiding
Vulnerable, Fond

A Persona Poem

Meet Jason, the delicate.
Self-centered but caring, insensitive yet affectionate.
Either a pal or a foe,
who loves to groove, who cherish solitude
and delights watching the sun set though.
Scared of embarrassment, frightened of negligence
and fears death for it buries you below.
Wants to see his father breathing again, see God in heaven
and a glimpse to what lies on the day after tomorrow.
A resident of his own.
He is Cuario y Posadas and certainly unknown.

Forbidden Love

Love is natural yet a wonderful feeling.
It feels so right when you're loving
but how can you love, if there's someone stopping?
Are you willing to stop your heart from beating?

Forbidden love, a love that is prohibited.
A love which is wrong and which is not accepted.
but how can it be wrong, when it feels so right to be wanted.
You really can't resist it, especially when you feel very delighted.

Although this kind of love will face so many hindrances,
the heart will still look for a unique way to attain success
What if, it is not really destined to you and you had given all the sacrifices,
will you still dare to continue loving despite of all the consequences?

Lunes, Nobyembre 28, 2011



The mind keeps to resist
but the heart tries to insist.
As the heart pumps blood through the vein, it says go,
but as the mind controls the muscle to move, it says no.

I’ve longed to meet my man, a man I’ll crave for against the odd
but it ain’t easy for I’m a lad who’s in love with a lad.
Loving you would be an astonishing scenery,
to our Deity it is an unblemished misery.

Found my self in a midst of vacillation.
My mind was clouding in confusion.
You awaken the torpid heart of mine,
if you’d know, you’ll surely hit me with a dime.

Thinking to confess, but scared that the result would be negligence.
The heart shouts for protest, ‘cause in us there might be congruence.
However, the mind says, ‘have pity and please stop this insanity’.
Trying to decide clearly, i asked myself abruptly …

Am I sturdy enough to face the reality
or feeble enough to keep on living in fantasy ?
The answer … is still UNDECIDED.

Shattered Dream


As I inhale the smoke out from my cigarette,
I discovered my self dancing like a coquette.
I see those flickering lights from the disco ball
Everyone grooves as the beat of the music fall.

Then, I saw this man, he was warm and dignified.
As the speakers blow up, our bodies soon collide.
caused by friction, an intimacy I felt
found my body glued to the buckle of his belt.

Breath smells like beer; erotically turns me on.
Lips that you’ll die caressing for from dusk till dawn.
Deep voice just like the at the concert of Kurt Cobain.
Killer smiles will get you high like hitting cocaine.

Behind those confections is a genuine heart,
Good looking person who never learn how to flaunt.
He’s the man you’ll adore, man close to perfection
Soon enough, you’ll be indulged into obsession.

The clouds covered the moon and made the night darker.
The humid wind coldly blows that makes us shiver.
His arms pulled me, that made our bodies come closer.
The night ended by locking lips together.

I heard the clock ticking.. and noticed the sun rising..
Then ask myself, was it a sweetdream or a beautiful nightmare ?



Longing for you to spend moments with me vehemently.
You’ve taken me fervently, feeling I’m in ecstasy.
You alone triggers my electrical sensation.
Smile that drags me into a magnetic attraction.

The scent of you drives me intoxicated.
if your skin touches mine, it makes me besotted.
Specially when you talk; warm, wet breath passes your ruby lips,
every inhale of your breath is forever for keeps.

Watching those sweats dripping down on your virile body,
it torments me with the flames of inveiglement ardently.
I’ve always dreamt to glue your scorching chest to mine,
imagining of caressing it while pouring lime.

I am avid of you, I’m zealous to the whole of you.
Dying to sip your precious juice until you’ll turn blue.
I think I’m high, higher than hitting a ‘weed’
Desperation will never be obstructed even if you’ll bleed.

Thinking of entering the rehabilitation,
Just for me to wake up from this addiction.
But now its too late, ‘cause here you are chained with nails and thorns.
Blame me not, for every chains pays all your aversions.

A Child’s Paranoia

A child is to become student in school,
not a gypsy who loiters and just be a fool
Be in uniform and sing convivial hymn,
not in tarnished clothes full of grime.

Pulling his stroller bag and school supplies inside.
not to push a wagon of bottles and metals inside.
A pencil is to write, a book is to read
and Government is to help; not to be in greed.

In schools, a child is taught to write, read and recite.
In streets, he also recites, screams foul words that contrite.
Learning to use the book and pen grants valor to pursue,
sniffing bottled rugby gives asphyxiation and reason to be sue.

A march on the stage with pride and honor
not to march with the gang who spreads terror and horror.
Winning that rolled paper with seal, makes you magnate
than hitting that rolled stick with noxious vapor and ruins your fate.

It is a right and not a privilege to have cognizance
to glide from the striffing arrow of ignorance.
lack of cognition leads to illiteracy
which will make our country full of pathos and pity.

Love’s Prisoner


A glimpse of you incurs my heart to scream
either out of bliss or out of grief, as it seem.
Fluctuating smiles, could be non-fiction or out of sarcasm.
Voice like melodies but mine to you makes me a loathsome.

You’re oxygen of my lungs; creates vitality that glows,
but to you, I’m just the sough of wind that humidly blows.
Couldn’t help my self out from this devotion,
do anything for these dreams to stop or put into action.

A day without seeing you, drowns my heart into the blue.
Don’t know what my fondness could do, for I’m having no clue.
Anguished by my love, wanting to cede it from you.
Feel disgust or gaiety, for this love’s made by few
yet we love so true.

Scrutinous society forbids my heart from loving.
Scared to show ardor; to be gay is sought to be embarrassing.
Forever I’ll be censured in the cage of reality,
better close my eyes and let self freed into fantasy.

Beauty and Ugliness

(a twist poem)

Beauty is adored and ugliness is abhorred.
The first is all we have wanted while the latter is forever disgusted.
Ugliness may last but beauty will fade.
Its good to be natural rather than to be an artificial.
Real beauty is better for it is pure,
unlike the other; blemished and had done some cure.
Being beautiful would receive sweetness
which makes our world, a world of bitterness.
We pray for fairness yet we’re living a life full of biases.
Fact: our Deity created as equally
though we think of it as fiction in reality.
Blame not God; in life, we all have unique beauty from the start
but we put ugliness before it ends.
Worry no more, ‘cause ugliness in the heart is hated
but the beauty within is admired.

A Contrition


There was silence in me .. then it was broken.
A decision that changed and made my life darken.
The mind was poisoned over so completely,
the heart felt so dizzy with emotions pathetically.

Naive who thought everything will be fine.
Later I realized, I committed a God’s forbidden crime.
A wrong answer that will forever be hunting me.
Tattooed mistake that will linger ‘till the dryness of sea.

Regrets  ! That is all I’ll treasure.
Past will always be with present to mess up with the future.
Misery will be my company all throughout this journey,
shadow of sin never leaves me even if I’ll try to bury.

Now, my life has nothing else to lose.
If I could just pull the hands of the cock back to where I choose,
I”l set it on the time where my sun still shines.
And my worlds revolves; to break the darkness of dawn and heal all of my cries.

The After-Taste of Sin


Sleep no more; the dream I’ve longed was brought into life.
Never thought it will be a nightmare to carry ‘till death.
Want to wake up, but scared to sew back the pieces of life.
Found my self drowning in sea of regrets, I’d rather now lose my breath.

Maiden inside man’s body was never a divine.
T’was a half hour pleasure, but now a burden of a lifetime.
I cried for the ache, the pain that will never be worthy.
But the real agony?? … was losing my inherited purity.

Lustful imagining pushes two to become one.
He penetrated himself, and it was unrighteously done.
The moans were like sweet music to my ears.
Now, the mind and heart scream with tears.

I’ve tasted his warm, fervent vital fluid;
Potion turned out poison, showed me disgust in vivid.
Marks of torrid kisses may not last for it will vanish
but the scenery of sin will never fade even if I’ll wish.

One wrong move and it changed my life’s course.
Ashamed of who I am, but it was me who put a long-lasting curse.
The fiery night was a picture that will forever be painted.
However, my soul will endlessly burning in the flames I’ve created.

The Inner Masculinity


Man was molded with pure insincerity,
manipulates without vicious pity.
Virility and strength are his weapon.
He believed his a tough king; not some pawn.

Fortified arm, enough for you to lose consciousness.
When he wanted something nothing blocks his eagerness.
Insensitive heart was ice-cold and numb,
thought of everyone as his weak little lambs.

Man is a useless disposable material,
but uses and treats others’ like some sort of animal.
When he’s done, you’ll became one of his trophies
Vividly proves he’s great in breaking those promise.

Acts like God who gives verdict of rejection.
He thinks he’s dominant to all other creation.
Always been good in controlling someone like his puppet.
Yet, no one deserves to be his toy nor his marionette.

The Departure


You took away with you my heart
Life was no longer as sweet as tart.
Ashamed of who I am, left you no reason to leave.
I’ll do everything for love to be retrieved.

Feelings for you were the source of refuge and strength
Yet, you despised me for I’m gay with no worth
Every disdain and scorn makes me weak,
made my heart so numb as a brick.

Glances of you shapes me into something real and new.
But yours to me to me could be counted for they’re just only a few.
Abandoned me in pain and despair.
Memories of us were blown in the air.

Would you be back even if you’re gone?
Absence of you makes my purpose over and done.
Threads that bind us together are now untied.
I will never stop pulling the strings to have you again by my side.

some facts about HALMETHYST…

  • HALMETHYST is a combination of the two renowned section in Daniel High - Halcon and Amethyst.
  • They’ve just been together for two years but they’ve seem like to know each other since forever.
  • Aside from their classroom, they had a second home where they find tranquility and relaxation and its @ Pernites residence.
  • There were sub-groups in the class like Porno Officers, Olopongz, Lolli-Lolli, etc. but that was never an obstruction to them not to bridge the gaps between them.
  • They laugh like there are no tomorrows and you’ll never have dull moments with them.
  • In their Junior High, they were all sent to the prefect of discipline but that did not bring them down.
  • They all love half days.
  • They once made a movie which was never finished and it didn’t even had a title.
  • HALMETHYST is composed of unique individuals with different colorful personalities, having various shades and hue. and when mix together they create a blastful fireworks that lasts a lifetime.
  • their friendship will last ‘till the ages. the whole world may forget that they’ve once existed but the HALMETHYST will surely never forget that once in their lives they’ve experienced the best roller coaster ride ever!
(add - ons)
  • condom was one of their favorite toys, they once played it, pour water into it.. then.. TRALA ! the DODGE CONDOM game was invented :) — Kevin Joven
If you are a fully-pledged HALMETHYST, feel free to add some. it will be highly appreciated. :)
[DRAMAAAA  ! hahaha.. this is just my creative way to say that I MISS YOU :)]

Love Notes

(an acrostic poem)

Decussated paths we’ve taken, its fate who had chosen.
Oddity you may call it; its love the way I see it.
Nauseated with what I feel, ne’er I’ll stop to make it real.
Avulsion we suffer by what morality dictates.
Repay me with hate, that will never lessen my love’s rate.
Dismal will I surely feel if this bond will be unsealed.

Lies untold by you, no one knows if its false or ev’n true.
Only I’m scared to avow ‘cause people will raise eyebrows.
Pity this love made by gay, its immoral as they say.
Ennui, struggle I can’t bear every time you make a stare.
Zenith I’ll reach, beg the Gods to bridge gaps of our love’s breach.

i ♥ 19

Mura’g Gi-Angayan


Pulbos diri, pulbos didto! wa’y pinagbag-o.
Shorts grabe ka puok, bagtak hasta kadag-ko.
Ug sa kahayag man, dulom o sa kangit-ngit,
mao rang hulagwaya, sa mall di mabit-bit.

Nuon, okay man unta ug magpa-gwapa ka.
Blush-on man gud nimu buh, hasta jung baga-a.
Naa pay lipstick gakampat di jud mabang-bang.
‘Yaw palabi ter, kay mura ka ug naay kulang.

Pagkahilas na lang jud, wa’ baya angayi.
Gwapa pay nalitok, wa’ kaha ka kuyapi?
‘ngita jud ka nuh ug imung kakampi,
Sus! mga budats ra baya jud ang ka-Army!

Hoy dai ! Hoy dai ! ‘yaw kaayo pag pinamati
kay sa imu pagkatao wa juy mati-ti
Abi nimu sikat na diay kaayo ka?
Panamin sa, FEELING GWAPA ra kaayo ka !!

Treachery is Next to Death


The sun hid its light as I gaze to it.
Nimbus clouds covered the rays made the sky looks so dim.
Sturdy wind blows the sand beneath the shore.
The heavens screamed a trembling noise as the rains pour.

Tears keep falling along the droplets of rain.
Now they’re part of the sea, hoping it’ll wash all his disdain.
I yelled out his name at the endless sea.
A roar echoed caused by voices of waves not in glee.

My bleak body is wet, made me so weak and cold.
but the heart is colder because of a lie untold.
A gust of jealousy blurred the lines I mustn’t had crossed to.
Too late; no one can take him out of the blue.

The pain the bullet I gave him is nothing but empty.
Compared to the ache he caused me from his infidelity.
Life was broken into a million little pieces..
becoming like the stars and sand… now countless.

A Love in Fairytale


The first glimpse of you brought the colors of rainbow to my heart.
Perfectly you serenade me with melodies of Mozart.
We can run away and unceasingly we will sail.
Falling in love with you is like living a Fairytale.

You’ll be Alladin and together we’ll ride the magic carpet.
Or I’ll be Wendy and you’re Peter Pan, then we’ll both fly and watch the sunset.
You could be the prince who assures the apple isn’t poisoned before I give a bite to it.
Or my knight in shining armor who awakens the sleeping heart with a true love’s kiss.
And I can be the damsel in distress whom you saved from the wicked witch.
But you could simply be just you, the man I fell in love in to.

I can be the Saturn and you’ll be my rings, and eternally we’ll be bound.
We could be a pair of slippers and mutually we’ll get old and rugged.
I’d be coke, you’re the sundae and we both make a perfect coke float.
We are indeed destined to be, just like the paddle and the boat.

I don’t believe in Gaga, that it’s a ‘Bad Romance’, certainly Taylor’s right that ‘you belong with me’.
Maybe I’ll be joining Charice, because I am so in Glee.
Or Miley in the ‘Climb’ so that I’ll get closer to you.
Next time I’ll be featured with Katy ’ cause I’ve always been ‘thinking of you’.

It’s no accident, but its fate that led you to me.
Perpetually I’ll be loving you even if I’ll reach the end of the sea.
It will be a ‘you’ and a ‘me’ to have an inevitable duo.
Nothing can take my love for you even if the whole world says no.

How (much) Do I Love Thee


I love you with a long lasting one, ‘til there’s life in Mars.
I love you with love as reckon-less as the raindrops and stars.
I love you untimely even the Earth’s rotations stop.
I love you closely and for you I’ll reach the planet’s gap.
I love you as cozy as the warmth of the sun it gives you.
I love you eternally even the moon turns to blue.
I love you but not intricated as Mathematics.
I love you with no avarice unlike in Politics.
I love you as vast as the branches in all Sciences.
I love you purely and lief; not like those enforced Taxes.
I love you magically with no lies and any tricks.
I love you so softly and its not frigid nor in bleak.
I love you and be undaunted to fight their haughty scorn.
I love you gratefully and forever will never mourn.

(inspired of Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s ‘How do I Love Thee”)

Voodoo Girl

Her skin is white cloth,
and she’s all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking out of her heart.
She has many different zombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.

But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,
the pins stick farther in.

--got this from one of my favorite blogsites -- manilagayguy

Parting Time


You were standing in a vast of nowhere,
condemned me on the brim for its no queer.
I’m taking left; you are going right,
‘caused by fright we’re having feeling of plight.

Dark was beckoned to me, made me blinded to thee.
Raptured soul in the deep sea, now can’t go and be free.
I was barely scared to confess and profess.
Yet I tried, but it made you scared of making a mess.

The pain torments me without any sake.
An ache you gave that nothing can break.
I’ll carry the agony though you think of me as misery.
For you I’ll pretend to smile even the eyes are teary.

Promise to love you always, ‘till the horizon is reached.
Hoping that we’ll meet at the other side of the beach.
Endlessly I will love you and forsaken you never,
even the artificial flowers begin to wither
and even if the dawn will be there forever.

Uncaged Sparrow


Lingering moments keep running inside this mind,
words can’t falter what this heart is trying to find.
Besotted with own notion of trust, faith and love.
Prisoner than lover; deprived to fly above.
Didn’t know what I’ve become, avarice I owned.
Nailed and buried you with chains inside my love’s tomb.
Possessiveness blind you to witness liberty.
Elusive volition for a thine in pity,
now had broken wings ‘caused by pure voracity.
Thought our loved reached the zenith of felicity,
deceived with devotion, believed its in fiery.
Eyes now fully wide-opened; seen love in dreary.
Alone with no choice, for if I love you dearly,
though its tearing me, I must let you go, be free.
Hoping as you depart, bestow me forgiveness.
Oblivion, last thing you’ll do. That’s your promise.
When you take a pace away, never do look back.
It will make me commemorate what my life’s lack.
Go, fly away and feel the emancipation,
Let the wind blow all I’ve caused in life’s obstruction.
Love may had wizened but ne’er our memoir
Forever I’ll love you… Te amo .. Au revoir ..